When I was a child, I went to a one-room country school, where, as I recall it, all was suspended between Thanksgiving Day and Christmas to prepare for the Christmas operetta. Everyone was occupied with practicing lines and songs and working madly to complete that special gift for mother. Though the teacher probably recalls us continuing with our classes, my memory recalls only the details related to the celebration that we would share with parents, older siblings and neighbors.
"Enough Already!" is right. I sit here surrounded by piles of books, articles and idea lists, trying to put them in concise order to help our readers make changes in the busy-ness of the coming holidays. I look over this mound of materials (it seems everyone is getting on the "simplify Christmas" bandwagon) and I realize most of what is available assumes that all other life activities are suspended.
No wonder we get overwhelmed as holidays approach. Life goes on its busy track while we introduce several other highly significant expectations and activities. To create a more authentically simple holiday, start off simply:
1. Quiet down!
2. Make a plan.
3. Try something.
4. Evaluate!
Quiet yourself
This the the key most of us forgo. Take time to pray, to listen and to do a simple exercise that will help you think about what you truly care about in relationship to any celebration. How you celebrate is who you are. All celebrations are a reflection of what you value. Times of celebration connect you to others, help you nourish relationships. They are a mini-drama of your life. They are times when we forget the daily routine of life and display who we are. Because they are ritualized interruptions in or daily schedules, we can forget our cares, remember what is truly important and look to the future with hope.
So, taking time to reflect on how and what we will celebrate will have a direct impact on how satisfied we are with our celebrating. We bring our Christian identity to this reflection. Therefore, as we take time to center on what is valued, we need to question how the content, manner and outcome of our celebrations reflect our understanding of faithfulness.
All ages can participate in this simple exercise to enter into this reflection by completing these sentences: "Last holiday was like . . . ." and "I want this holiday to be like . . . ." Or, list several values of the holiday and rank them according to importance to you. (See a similar exercise in Unplug the Christmas Machine.) Share your reflection experiences with those with whom you live and/or celebrate.
Planning
A plan created out of your reflection will help alleviate some of the stress of a holiday. Flexibility in your plan is key. Realize there are no quick fixes. If you don╒t plan, you will end up in the same place as last time, likely ruled by someone else╒s values. One way to slow down the Christmas flurry is to "let Advent be Advent" ╤ a time of reflection, preparation and waiting. Try displaying Advent symbols around your home and in the activities you choose: an Advent wreath or calendar or a daily ritual unique to Advent. Place one canned good a day in a box in anticipation of delivering it to a food shelf around Christmas. Find ways of waiting ╤ notice the stars or a sunset.
As you plan, include others in planning. Imagine together what the perfect holiday would be like. Don╒t surprise friends and family members with an altered gift-exchange policy. Warn them well ahead of time and preferably include them in the decision. Ask your church council to think about its schedule and to plan well in advance ╤ probably in summer or early fall. Newly married friends of mine chose to create their own tradition by volunteering during their holiday break. Thoughtfully, early in the fall, they made a special visit to their families to tell them not to expect them to be available for "old" traditions.
Try something!
You will feel much more successful if you change one or two things each year. Don╒t abandon all traditions at once. Try one or two new ideas and eliminate something old as it is appropriate. As children get older, stop visiting Santa and make a visit to a relative instead. Or choose one favorite concert or play to attend instead of several. Or ask each person what his or her favorite cookie is rather than just making several varieties. Trust you are moving in a direction that feels more authentic.
Evaluate!
After the holiday, ask yourself and others how it went. Did you like the changes well enough to try them again? Did you miss something you left out? How might you alter your plan next time? Make a list and include supplies for any changes and store them in a place where they will be found for next year. Buy fresh Advent candles and store them in the box you will open first next year.
If the new activity you tried wasn╒t satisfactory, don╒t do it again; try something different next year. If, on the other hand, it worked, make it a tradition. For several years in a row, my Christmas cards got out later and later. Since my birthday is in late January, I decided to send greetings then, still making annual contact with friends. Feedback has been positive.
The role of rituals and tradition is ever more important in times when less and less seems secure. But your rituals must be authentic to who you are and where you have come from; and they must acknowledge your hopes. I find that taking circumstances as they are ╤ enjoying the positive and looking for the possibilities in the negative ╤ helps me try rituals that are creative and fun. I am a single person, and my nieces and nephews have come to expect some creative gifts from me. They have come to expect that I╒ve thought about each of them and that the gift will be simple (likely homemade), such as a family trivia game, a gift of time, or a "recycled" gift.
(Janet Grant, a longtime member of the Community of St. Martin in Minneapolis, recently joined the staff of Holden Village in Washington state.)
Holiday Resources
Ñ52 Simple Ways to Make Christmas Special, by Jan Dargatz and Oliver Nelson, 1991.
ÑTo Celebrate: Reshaping Holidays and Rites of Passage Alternatives, 1988.
ÑUnplug the Christmas Machine, by Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli, William Morrow Publishing, 1991.
ÑCelebrating Christmas as if it Matters, by David Lambert, Zondervan Publishing House, 1992.
ÑCup of Christmas Tea, by Tom Hegg, Waldman House Press, 1982.
Ñ101 Ideas for the Best-Ever Christmas, by Caryl Walker Krueger, Dimensions for Living, 1992.
ÑWhose Birthday Is It Anyway? By Alternatives, 1993.
ÑKeeping Advent and Christmastime, by Liturgy Training and Publishing, 1988.
ÑRituals For Our Time: Celebrating, Healing and Changing Our Lives and Our Relationships, by Evan Imber-Black and Janine Roberts, Harper Perennial, 1992.
ÑGreat Christmas Ideas, by Alice Chapin, Lyndale House Publishers Inc., 1992.
